jlf_05's Xanga

the breakup

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 01:50:35 GMT

dear xanga blog. you've been good to me for over three years. however, I've moved on. It's me, not you. I just needed some change in my life. I'm trying to work on some stuff and I just didn't feel like we could stay together anymore. Well, actually, now that you ask I did find someone else. I still really hope we can be friends so you can check me out at:

http://jessicafick.wordpress.com/

a budding charismatic?

Wed, 29 Oct 2008 02:34:11 GMT

We've been teaching Reuben to pray before meals and though he hasn't said anything about Jesus, he enthusiastically says "amen!" when we pray. When he's really hungry he'll say, "amen! amen! amen!" before we even finish praying.

Tonight when I was driving up to Ferris State to speak to students about becoming modern-day abolitionists in the issue of human trafficking, I was praying aloud in the car. As I prayed, asking Jesus to open hearts of students to have compassion on child sex slaves, to empower me and a few other things, Reuben said "amen! amen! amen!"

I'm not sure if it was because it was close to dinner time or because he was eating cheerios and thought something more substantial would be coming if he said amen.

the bacon debate

Wed, 17 Sep 2008 00:53:58 GMT

A few years ago I was making breakfast when I still lived with my parents. I was about to cook the bacon in the microwave when my dad stopped me and said- "cook it in the pan, it gets crispier." Being their stubborn first born child I insisted that while my dad had his preference for cooking bacon that our methods really yielded the same results. For what ever reason this escalated into a heated debate about the merits of cooking bacon in the microwave vs. cooking it in a frying pan. For those of you who know my dad- it is rare when he raised his voice. Nothing like a family breakfast to start an argument!

A few years later; same scene, different kitchen. "Don't tell me you're going to cook the bacon in the mircrowave!" Dave told me with a sad face as I covered the strips of turkey bacon with a paper towel. "Why?" I ask, not remembering the Leep family bacon debate of 98'. Dave replies "It doesn't get as crispy in the microwave, it just gets dry and brittle." Thankfully that didn't turn into an argument but now every time I cook bacon, I have to microwave it before Dave can object. When he cooks bacon, he cooks it in a pan. We have agreed to disagree.

Tonight I was talking with my neighbors Dan & Meggan as our kids played on the porch. Dan and I were joking about not knowing what to make for dinner since our spouses with the culinary skills were absent over the dinner hour. When Meggan arrived at home, she hadn't eaten dinner so I told her about the tasty BLT (with sharp Wisconsin cheddar!) that I ate for dinner. "Meggan cooks bacon in the microwave- she just gets the precooked stuff" Dan quipped.

I proceed to tell them about the Fick bacon debates and Meggan chimes in that her mom & mom's boyfriend have the same debate! Meggan and I both agree that it's less messy when you microwave it & still tastes as good. Viva la microwaved bacon!

So blog friends- where do you stand in the great bacon debate? Is there any actual culinary proof of the crispiness factors of microwaving vs. pan frying? I'll give a red gummy bear to anyone who can provide me with some hard bacon facts. If this were a more interesting blog perhaps I would have posted about Sir Francis Bacon, father of inductive reasoning, or even Kevin Bacon of Footloose fame.

Please Stop By

Sat, 23 Aug 2008 19:24:08 GMT

As I've been talking to friends across the country it seems like I keep hearing the same things- "It's hard to meet friends & develop close relationships." It seems the older you get, the more difficult it is to both find time to spend with people and feel the freedom to let people into your life. Especially with friends that you can just drop in on to visit, it seems rare these days that people's lives are that open to spontaneous visits.

Part of me wonders if it is because it feels too uncomfortable for people to see how we really live- the cereal bowls still on the table, laundry piled on the couch waiting to be folded, or the car in the driveway that's weeks overdue for a wash. When I stop to think about what holds me back from spontaneously inviting people over- it's usually that I'm worried about the impression my stuff will or won't make. My living room is too cluttered with toys, the bathroom sink hasn't been wiped down in a few days, I don't have a plethora of beverage options to offer a thirsty guest. The list goes on inevitably for my excuses why it's better for me not to be hospitable.

When I realize that these things are may be holding me back from the kind of spontaneous, authentic relationships I really want, I try to put it in perspective. When I look back on life will I remember the laundry on someone's couch or the really great conversation or meal we shared together? When I open my house will people feel cared for and listened to by me or will they remember the pile of dishes in the sink? Do people in far less privileged places across the globe let their homes of corrugated tin roofs and dirt floors prevent them from hosting friends and neighbors?

Obviously we want our living spaces to facilitate relationships rather than detract from them. Smelly dishes and piles of clutter on furniture really can make people feel unwelcome and uncomfortable. But I wonder if we're so consumed with our life or homes looking like a page out of dwell (my fave design magazine) that we miss the opportunity to develop relationships and actually build the kind of lives we long for?

As strange as it sounds, I've been trying to plan more space in my life to have impromptu visits. Dave and I love going out for brunch after church but with Reuben's nap time coming on the heels of the end of the service, and not having unlimited brunch funds, we've been trying to be ready to be hospitable. Making sure we spend a little time on Saturday picking up, baking blueberry muffins to freeze & having lot of eggs in the fridge are ways that we've been preparing to build relationships with friends and not have to schedule it weeks in advance.

So, this is an open invitation to stop by. Even if there are piles of mail on the dining room table. Even if we're getting ready to mow the lawn.

cute things Reuben is doing right now

Thu, 21 Aug 2008 19:04:06 GMT

After a fund development trip to the East Coast Reuben has picked up a few new words. Right now he can say:
Ball & correctly identify a ball
Up, or Out when he wants to get out of a chair or his crib.
Banana, which sounds like bla-da-bla-da
I think he said Meow the other day when Dave was letting him pet our cat Chester.

He's also really liked feeding himself

He's actually started to get upset when I take the spoon to feed him. It looks like he is very quickly becoming a toddler!

He's also developed an attachment to some of his stuffed animals. He really likes the polar bear from uncle matt. He still mostly prefers books to any other kind of toy or activity.

He's also gotten over his fear of pools & has become a water baby. Sadly his first pool experience was clouded by someone inadvertently hitting him in the head with a ball. I'm glad he wasn't scared off for good. We entered him in a summer reading program at our local library & he won this cool frog splash pool! You can kind of see it in this picture.

We also went to meijer gardens for a concert the other night with our neighbors and the boys had a great time splashing in the fountain. Wish I had remembered to pack extra clothes in the diaper bag!

mothers day numero uno

Sun, 11 May 2008 01:38:53 GMT

Tomorrow will be my first mothers day with a child. Even though we celebrated it last year, the only parenting I was doing was restraining myself from eating too many jelly beans and taking walks so I would be healthy when Reuben arrived. I was thinking about all the things I've learned in the past 11 months about being a parent, so I thought I'd make a top 10 list of insights in no particular order.

1. The grass is always greener. No matter what stage you're at in life, there is always something that you think will make your life better. When you are single, you want to get married. When you're married, you wonder when you should have kids. When you have kids......you wish that you were single or without kids because it would be nice to sleep in occasionally, or take a romantic trip, or anything else where you don't have to take diapers along.

2. Dave is a better father than I could have imagined. I couldn't do half the stuff I do without him. Whenever I read parenting magazines & stories of deadbeat husbands I realize what a gem he is. He is a great dad to Reuben, so competent & sacrificing.

3. It does go fast. The passe adage people like to share is true, I can barely remember how small Reuben was only a few months ago. Now he's almost ready to walk. It's been very fun seeing him learn new things every week- he just started clapping a day ago and making the sign for "more".

4. There are reasons why parents have station wagons and mini-vans. There is so much stuff to haul around with a kid, especially on a trip. Even packing light isn't light when you need a stroller, pack&play, diaper bag, food, toys, etc.

5. Every stage your child goes through has something wonderful about it. It was beautiful to see Reuben as a peaceful 2 month old, to hear him start to coo at 4 months old, hear him laugh at 6 months, and see his eyes light up whenever he would see one of our cats. While it's hard not to miss certain things in each of those stages, I'm trying to be content and savor where he is at right now.

6. There are reasons moms look so tired, don't wear makeup and seem a little disheveled. I'm not saying this is the case for all moms, but before I had Reuben I (naively) thought "there is no way I'm giving up mascara or looking cute." No "mom jeans" for me! However, I will say that somethings got to give when you're exhausted, laundry is piled up and all of your jeans have spit up on them. My concession- I wash my hair every other day now. Thank you wonderful flat iron for smoothing me out when I have bed head!

7. Wonder is rekindled. The places where it's easy to become jaded, miss the small things and rush through life, having a kid has helped me to think about what it's like to experience the small, beautiful things in life. Seeing a penguin for the first time, splashing in a bath, and smiling when someone you love is nearby have all been things I've enjoyed because of Reuben.

8. Insta-connections. I knew this would be the case but I'm still surprised at how easy it is to connect with people simply because you have kids. Its unlike any other connections you have in life- as strong a tie being a Spartan can be, it's not the trenches of waking up every two hours for three months straight.

9. Everyone is right, all the time. I have never heard as many opinions on the "best" sleeping techniques, toys, clothes, food, diapers from people who are convinced that their way is the best way. There is something about babies that brings out the soapbox in people- probably because everyone wants the best for your child. However, as Fleetwood Mac sang.... "you can go your own way!" So, we've taken everything with a grain of salt, taken what was helpful, left what was absurd or obnoxious. Smile and nod.

10. People have been ridiculously generous. I've bought Reuben like, three articles of clothing since he's been born thanks to Gracee. Reuben has slept in, played in an ate in baby gear all given to us by other friends. Grandparents spoil us by taking care of him every week or letting us sleep in when we've gone to visit. Students beg us to let them watch him & even watched him on valentines day when Dave surprised me with an impromptu dinner out at a swanky steak house. All of the GVSU IVCF chapter watched him at large group. That's some love right there.

So, Happy Mothers day to the other moms out there! Go love on your mama.

mmm, summer time!

Tue, 06 May 2008 14:29:51 GMT

mmm... summer means yummy things like baked beans & watermelon. But the beans get EVERYWHERE so then I need to take a bath!

We just bought a baby bike trailer this past weekend so we can ride around town with Reuben. It's been perfect biking weather lately & I've been riding to the coffee shop to work or the library to drop off books. Reuben will turn 1 in less than a month & I've been trying to figure out a theme for his party. Maybe you can vote on what you think is the best choice.....

1. Animals/Jungle theme
2. Pirates
3. Robots
4. Kitty Robots
5. Kitty Robot Pirates

I'm pretty sure partyUSA has Kitty Robot Pirate themed plates, cups & tablecloths.

mom blog

Thu, 01 May 2008 18:56:10 GMT

Recently my friend Gracee chastised me for not blogging more often, exasperated she told me that "I got into blogging because of you now you hardly ever post!" So.....why have I not been blogging so much? Life just feels too full and complicated. I just started a masters degree for one. And instead of writing a paper, I decided to write a blog. I guess I just needed an excuse to procrastinate. So in order to simplify, I decided to turn my xanga site into (you may cringe here) a momblog. Writing down Reuben's milestones in his baby book just feels like too much work & I do want to preserve them so I thought I'd just blog about it. So, whether you love baby stories and pictures or think it's sentimental hogwash- dem's da breaks!

Reuben sounds like Lindsey Lohan right now. He's had a cold for the past week & anytime he "talks" he sounds like he's been out on the town all night smoking cigarettes. His raspy little voice is pretty cute even though he has a pretty bad cough with it.

Before Reuben got sick Dave was trying to get him acclimated to grass much to Reuben's chagrin.

When I came home from Wheaton all he wanted to do was snuggle, which I really loved after being away for almost a week.

the random 10

Tue, 25 Mar 2008 00:53:45 GMT

1. I’ve been enjoying getting to know my neighbors better & seeing Reuben play with their son.
2. Was grossed out when my cat Chester stole a chunk of roast beef off the cutting board, ate it, unbeknownst to me, and then puked it up an hour later.
3. Have mixed feelings about the book "eat, pray, love" but it has mostly made me want to travel to Italy, India & Indonesia.
4. Spring can’t come soon enough. I have cabin fever even though I’ve enjoyed this winter.
5. Wish that I wasn’t feeling so emotionally "bubble bubble toil & trouble, cauldron burn & cauldron bubble" right now.
6. Am looking forward to going to Ikea between meetings tomorrow.
7. Am glad the Spartans are in the sweet 16 even though I haven’t seen one game this season. GO STATE!
8. Think the book of Acts is really cool. Shipwrecks, stoning, and Saul, oh my!
9. Am amazed that there is a "day at the beach" scented candle. Am even more amazed that it actually does smell like a day at the beach (minus the cigarettes)
10. Like to kiss Reuben’s soft as marshmallow cheeks.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 02:32:02 GMT

Last weekend Dave and I took our friends Dave & Gracee Biskie cross country skiing- and as Gracee put it "white people sports are fun! Why don't more black folk ski? (answering her own question) Maybe because it's freakin' cold outside!"

We'd been trying to plan it for weeks & finally were able to rent the skis, find a relatively easy trail, get childcare for our kids & make the trek to the snowy trails. It was great!

Since I grew up in the upper penninsula of MI, my family skied a lot- we had a trail just off our backyard. So even though I was technically supposed to teach Dave & Gracee how to correctly ski- I was a bit out of practice, like 10 years out of practice. The best part was learning how to go down hills again. Here is how the dialogue went as we approached the (very little) hill:

Dave B: "I think I'm just going to click off my skis & walk down"
Gracee: "I'm not! It looks fun!"
this is gracee's first time skiing, on a hill no less.
Dave F. "You'll crash into those trees down there."
Gracee: "Really? It looks fun anyways"
Jessica: "Yeah, you'll crash into the trees"
Jessica: "Oh, I think I just remembered how to go down hills on cross-country skiis!"

So the four of us snowplowed down the hill about 10 times. It was really fun & I was happy that things came back to me relatively quickly- the joy of being an intuitive- "I don't know how I do it, I just do it!"

As I was gliding through the woods I rememberd how much fun I had skiing as a kid- I didn't think about the exercise I was getting or how many calories were being burned. I just had fun enjoying the snow sparkling in the sun, vibrant birds on gray tree branches & laughing & talking with people as we skied together.

On our adventure with the Biskies I felt so grateful for our friendship- and to share an experience of skiing that was such a part of my childhood. Hopefully it won't be the last of our "white people" adventures outdoors.