| | As I've been talking to friends across the country it seems like I keep hearing the same things- "It's hard to meet friends & develop close relationships." It seems the older you get, the more difficult it is to both find time to spend with people and feel the freedom to let people into your life. Especially with friends that you can just drop in on to visit, it seems rare these days that people's lives are that open to spontaneous visits.
Part of me wonders if it is because it feels too uncomfortable for people to see how we really live- the cereal bowls still on the table, laundry piled on the couch waiting to be folded, or the car in the driveway that's weeks overdue for a wash. When I stop to think about what holds me back from spontaneously inviting people over- it's usually that I'm worried about the impression my stuff will or won't make. My living room is too cluttered with toys, the bathroom sink hasn't been wiped down in a few days, I don't have a plethora of beverage options to offer a thirsty guest. The list goes on inevitably for my excuses why it's better for me not to be hospitable.
When I realize that these things are may be holding me back from the kind of spontaneous, authentic relationships I really want, I try to put it in perspective. When I look back on life will I remember the laundry on someone's couch or the really great conversation or meal we shared together? When I open my house will people feel cared for and listened to by me or will they remember the pile of dishes in the sink? Do people in far less privileged places across the globe let their homes of corrugated tin roofs and dirt floors prevent them from hosting friends and neighbors?
Obviously we want our living spaces to facilitate relationships rather than detract from them. Smelly dishes and piles of clutter on furniture really can make people feel unwelcome and uncomfortable. But I wonder if we're so consumed with our life or homes looking like a page out of dwell (my fave design magazine) that we miss the opportunity to develop relationships and actually build the kind of lives we long for?
As strange as it sounds, I've been trying to plan more space in my life to have impromptu visits. Dave and I love going out for brunch after church but with Reuben's nap time coming on the heels of the end of the service, and not having unlimited brunch funds, we've been trying to be ready to be hospitable. Making sure we spend a little time on Saturday picking up, baking blueberry muffins to freeze & having lot of eggs in the fridge are ways that we've been preparing to build relationships with friends and not have to schedule it weeks in advance.
So, this is an open invitation to stop by. Even if there are piles of mail on the dining room table. Even if we're getting ready to mow the lawn. |
| | Posted 8/23/2008 4:24 PM - 15 Views - 2 eProps - 0 comments
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